Hello and welcom e to our first blog- ( yes I refer to myself in third person get over it I'm crazy) in a long series to come.
SABOTAGE: After having a very intresting conversation with my classmate today, about self sabotage, I relize we are all guilty of it. Infact, we are often times our own worst enemy: geting in the way of our own sucess and happiness.- especially when we dealing with day to day issues of living the vida tranny.
In many instances we let our past dictate our future . Our mistakes or precived falures begin to be the referance point to our lives and we buy into the idea that nothing can be perfect in our exsistance. Why?? why do we have to think that way?. Well we are afraid of sucess -fear of triumph is the reason why we consitantly convince ousrselves that our universe is ment to be caotic and dramalicious. Not only are we waiting for the other shoe to fall but we willingly take off both of our heels and hurl them to the ground just for the fun of it. This unhealthy fear of sucess is what keeps us back.
DONt worrie your not alone and it is not you fault either (whoo whoo whoo). It is not your fault that there are not many positive referances for being a healthy and sucessful tranny we are costanlty taught that being of trans-experiance is nasty, unatural and NOT NORMAL. Thefore many of us carry with us this feeling of being defective and thefore things are ment to be wrong in our lives. For example say your dating a really great person or are working at a really great job or your presented with a awsome oppertunity- what do we do - we pull out our past failures, our gender insecurities, and the years of social opression and suddenly we are shrinking violets, we can take chances and we give up. Oh Please -- it takes balls to be a tranny ( no pun intended) I mean we are powerful people ,you already won hunny, you have transformed the world around you to respect and see you as your chosen gender so to hell with that littel voice in your hed that constally tells you " your not good enough" or "you tried this and failed alredy bricky" I mean don't you think you have already been through enough? From getting up the morning, looking in the mirror, shaving, tucking, plucking and other forms of gender confirming torture to dating, being clocked, and evenings with your most critical and closest tranny girlfriends. TRust you have paid your dues and your still not happy. So let yourself off the hook and next time you find yourself trying to commit self sabotage tel that little negative voice in your head -- SUCK MY TUCK!
